Slarti's List of Bad Guys

Slarti Bartfast

Active member
Mar 6, 2022
98
170
33
I’m a peaceful fellow, choosing to spend my time brewing beers and adventuring the wide world of Nave. My offensive spells are only used on beasts or to defend myself. I prefer that most of my mana go to the healing arts. Also, being a merchant, I prefer to pay others to do my dirty work. Know that in fulfilling a bounty, you are supporting a most honorable cause - ensuring that the beer I brew keeps flowing in Myrland! An attack against Slarti is not just a random mugging… it is an affront to the very idea of beer and celebration. It is an attack on reasonable priced steppe horses in Tindrem. These fools seek to drain the joy from Myrland. Restore balance and bring me their heads.

Free beer for the first head of each brought to me in Tindrem via trade, COD, or put them on the broker and notify me.

*Added 4-14* rapante and AnuQeIRo - Where are those that would defend the land around Tindrem and the Orchard? Again, I attacked exiting the Brewery by absolute trash. How do I know they are trash? I was able to get in the Brewery and shut the door as they tried to pelt me with arrows. Alas, this left my bear outside. No reason to slaughter it. No bags on it. But the worthless trash slaughtered it. Please bring me the heads of AnuQeiRo and rapante for this crime and I shall compensate you heftily with beer.

*Added 4-11-23* Tukh and Alfarinn - Made it by Vadda this week! Drink up! Unfortunately on my way out, I was assaulted by Tukh and Alfarinn. They murdered me, my horse, and taur dog, taking my haul of jungle fruit. Please feel free to bring me their heads for some free beer!

*Added 3-25-23* Sir Gimli, TheCougar, bingey, shorto, and Bonktime - The Tindrem Orchard is under siege by all kinds of ruffians these days. I decided to try and make another delivery to Meduli after the Two Dollar Horde robbery below. This time on my way through the Orchard, These five bastards (and one more I think that I didn't catch the name) chased me to the Brewery. I released the rath of my razorbacks as a distraction while spurring my horse on to the safety of the Brewery. While they were distracted by slaughtering my razorbacks, I rode into the Brewery, turning my horse sideways to block the door. They slaughtered him and then began hacking on me as I shut the door in their face. They asked me to bank my stuff and come out, which I agreed to. However, after doing so and stepping out, they had moved on. BRING ME THEIR HEADS!

*Added 3-23-23* Zere and Tuskar of Two Dollar Horde - Let it be known that this week's beer shipment to Meduli was stolen by Two Dollar Horde members Zere and Tuskar. Please feel free to recover it from them and keep it as a fee. It was a substantial amount of beer. I would be grateful if you would punish them severely so they reconsider next time they see me headed to Meduli to bring beer to the people. Also, since the guards these days don't seem to give a flying fuck about criminals like this waltzing into the city after delivering a few packages, please be sure not to purchase my beer from either of these ruffians as well. Other members of this guild have shown honorable behavior toward me as of late. A moratorium on these heads.

*Added 1-28-23* FastLearner of the guild Levia - Headed for Kranesh to see if they might like some beer. Was killed on sight by this ahole as soon as I set foot inside. Oh well... no beer for Kranesh. But 20g if you bring me FastLearner's head in Tind, Med, or Fab. Levia had agreed to give me access to Kranesh to sell my product. Word had not reached FastLearner yet. I've been unmolested by Levia since this agreement was made better known.

*Added 11-25* Apollynn, Ghostmantle, Trouble, and AngryAussie - Add to the enemies of the flow of beer in West Myrland the names of Apollyonn, Ghostmantle, Trouble, and AngryAussie as well as any others that were riding with them. These foul bandits intercepted me just outside of Meduli and stole my beer shipment to Meduli. Bring me their heads and ensure the continued flow of beer in West Myrland!

*Added 11-4* Ravenss - Add this unscrupulous fellow to the list of people that kill my razorbacks unprovoked and thus deserve death. Poor Maggie met her end at your arrows, but you may soon meet yours, dear Ravenss. 20g to whomever brings me this bandit's head in Tindrem. 50g if you make a video of yourself saying "This is for Maggie!" right before you off him and share it. No mercy for the pig killer. It seems fate brought me their head. See post below.

Ita - Attacked me with their black bear while I was taming horses. No provocation. Kill this person and keep horse prices reasonable in Tindrem.

Duskrider - Another random bandit attacking me as I work to keep Tindrem horse stocks high and prices low. Eliminate him if you like my 5g and less horses.

Emre - As I was herding horses to sell at the low price of 5g in Tindrem, Emre rode up and started shooting my tames. Then he shot me. Then he killed me. Kill this person that stands in the way of cheap horses in Tindrem.

Oghmir - Attacked me as I rode from Meduli to Tindrem for no reason. Killed my horse and my beloved first razorback named Gertrude. (banned from MO2 for other ahole behavior)

Dodakai and Mellos - Attacked me as I was at the Brewery. I was able to shut my door. They killed my horse that was parked out back and rode away laughing.

Dayman - Ran up to me while I was abandoning and re-taming a pig to level taming and killed my pig while it was gray. Then started yelling at me in voice about “abusing game mechanics.” Idiot. Please relieve him of his empty head.
 
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Slarti Bartfast

Active member
Mar 6, 2022
98
170
33
I suppose they could... but it should list their name for COD or broker, right? So why would I accept it if it was from them? I guess they could get a buddy to do it for them... but seems like a lot of effort to go for 20g if you don't give a damn about the RP of it, which is why this is posted in RP section.

Mostly just hoping to get a fun RP moment out of it and a little satisfaction if one of them actually get offed. Just a chance for any ARPK to have a little fun and get some pocket change and maybe mentioned in a write up. Hell... I'm still creating new beer, too. Maybe if someone really does a stellar job at mopping the floor with these folk, maybe they'll get a beer named after them.
 

Elijah

Active member
Jun 17, 2021
108
68
28
Mostly just hoping to get a fun RP moment out of it and a little satisfaction if one of them actually get offed. Just a chance for any ARPK to have a little fun and get some pocket change and maybe mentioned in a write up. Hell... I'm still creating new beer, too. Maybe if someone really does a stellar job at mopping the floor with these folk, maybe they'll get a beer named after them.

Love what you do here.

Since I first stumbled across your content I've been wondering 'where do I know this name from?', and I just realized where I know it from lmao. Better go reread those books. Wicked fun read.