A Player’s Lament: The Ballad of the Red Priests

[WeAreAllMortal]

(In memory of the infamous Red Priest "fix" fiasco, where the solution was worse than the problem.)​

To the tune of Crystal Gayle’s "Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue"

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Don't know why this fix fell through
Don't know what they tried to do
They had one job, we trusted you
And don’t it make my red priest blue?

I'll be fine when you're gone
I'll just cry all night long
Say it isn’t true
And don’t it make my red priest blue?

Tell me no reasons, give me some lies
Say "it's a feature," don't act surprised
Tell me you fixed it and don’t let me cry
Say anything but "that’s by design."

SV didn’t mean to treat us bad
Didn’t know just what they had
But fixing stuff is kinda hard
So they just flipped a switch or two
And don’t it make my red priest blue?

So don’t make my red priest blue!
Don’t make my red priest blue!
SVeeee, don’t make my red priests bluuuue!!!!

 

[Teknique]

Things like this are why, to put it as constructively as possible, are why I don’t respect the devs as “adhering to their vision”. I see it more as capitulation and blind implementation without critical thought.