"It is good to see you, old friend!"
Slarti looked up and found Nothvai approaching him in Tindrem after passing each other riding in opposite directions and coming to abrupt stops and about faces. He hadn't heard that voice in a long time.
"Come with me to the Mortuary," said Nothvai in the most socially pleasant voice while his canines shined in the sun on at the end of the word "me" looking sharper than the pointest spear in Myrland. "I promise not to harvest any of your flesh," he continued with a beguiling smile. Slarti smiled back and nodded, nervously eyeing a third party dressed in crustacean armor watching them from horseback.
Always an interesting time with this fellow. Why not?
Nothvai hopped onto to the horse of the crustacean armor clad watcher and motioned for Slarti to follow.
"Have you any skills in ritualism?" called Nothvai back towards Slarti.
"None at all!" said Slarti with a laugh.
"Then perhaps we shall have to see if we can fix that," responded Nothvai with such a measured tone that it could be perceived to have a number of meanings. As they approached the colleseum stables, a risen taur dog bounded out from the shadows of the entrance surprising Slarti. "Do not worry," said Nothvai, "it is mine. I could not bring it further into town or the guards would kill it." Slarti let out a relieved sigh and continued following his host and silent friend to the Mortuary.
Kind of a dark name... though he does injest the flesh of just about every humanoid clade out there.
After riding through the forest for a few minutes, Slarti involuntarily winced as a wave of stench hit his nostrils.
"There it is!" cheered Nothvai excitedly from atop his risen taurdog. A medium sized house next to a large stronghold came into view. A large for sale sign was outside the stronghole. The stench grew stronger as they approached the medium sized house. Nothvai and his companion dismounted near the stoop. Slarti followed suit. The three of them made their way into the house. Nothvai shut the door behind them and locked it, looking up with a grin that would make babies cry. "Welcome! Let me set up a table and some chairs," he said as he began rummaging through a storage area to the left of the entrance. Slarti looked around and saw bookshelf after bookshelf. Clearly the Mortuary was dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge... among other things. Slarti took a shallow breath after realizing he'd been holding his breath due to the smell. His olefactory went into overdrive nearly activating his gag reflex. He resisted and instead forced a smile as his host returned, "There we are. Come! You take one of the two chairs, Slarti."
Slarti entered into the impromptu dining room and took a seat at one of the two stools at the table. The silent companion sat across from him with Nothvai standing to his left. "Let me change into my..." Slarti tried to understand the last word but it was far more sophisticated than anything he had ever called robes in his life. He nodded and smiled again as this seemed to work for him pretty well through his life. Nothvai wandered over to a chest in the corner of the room while Slarti looked at the silent companion... when suddenly he spoke.
"Sup, I'm Siithis, brother of..." Slarti strained to try and hear the name clearly but he was unfamiliar with it and had only heard something similar pronounced only once. It sounded a little like "Boosh."
"Oh yeah! I remember that... person," said Slarti feeling fairly sure that he recognized the name even though he couldn't reproduce it. He looked to the left and now saw his host in his skivies, awkwardly making eye contact for a few seconds.
"Don't look," cried Nothvai. Slarti quickly turned away.
"Nope! Nope! Didn't see nothing," said Slarti, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself.
A moment later, Nothvai returned in robes the color of freshly harvested blood. "There we are. Something more formal. Made entirely from bloodsilk. I wish I were a bit more proficient in crafting with it," he muttered.
"It's quite... formal," blurted Slarti, trying to sound educated but only further emphasizing his rubishness.
"And now I will drink your beer. Have you any other flavors for my friend?" asked Nothvai. Slarti dug into his sack and pulled out some Stam Slammers. He also pulled out some Oghmir's Ode and gave it to Nothvai.
"I don't make this anymore because I don't specialize in top of the line ichor beer to get the mana effect. I can't think of a better fellow to receive the last few bottles," said Slarti, glad to make an true acquaintance but also equally glad to not be that acquaintence's meal.
"And now I must give you something. Here! Here!" exclaimed Nothvai, pulling a plated concoction out of a nearby chest. He set it down in front of Slarti. The smell caused Slarti to wobble a bit on his stool. It was a dark red mixture with large stretchy looking pieces that were clearly the skin of some sort of humanoid clade. Slarti smiled and rubbed his belly while looing at Nothvia who looked on expectedly. Slarti took a pointy utensil from the table and jabbed at a piece of the concoction. He brought it to his mouth and shoved it in, trying to swallow immediately. Unfortunately for him, something got stuck halfway down his esophagus. He started wretching and had to reach into his mouth and pull out a long stringy piece of skin. He tried to crack a smile and tossed the skin onto the floor like it were the natural thing to do.
"Ex... hrm hrm.. exquis... chfrphm.. hrm... exquiste," Slarti managed to say in between heaves that he was pushing back with every fiber in his being, trying to be polite to his host and avoid becoming another carcass in the chests that surrounded him.
Nothvai smiled and continued, "And now you must put your culinary skill to work for me! Come!" He pulled out many ingredients from different chests around the main room while Slarti waited at the cooking pot. "Yes, yes... and some ritual blood!" said Nothvai excitedly. Slarti gulped. He had never used ingredients like these before. He had no idea what the palate of someone who dined exclusively on those of the clade might be. He shrugged and began chopping the skin placed on the board next to the cooking pot. "Yes, yes!" cried Nothvai. Slarti sliced the flesh of one being into cubes and the other into slices. "Oh yes!" exclaimed Nothvai!
Well... I must be doing something right.
Slarti shoved all of the ingredients into the cooking pot and let it simmer for a short time, bringing the ingredients only to room temperature when the host demanded action. "Let's try it. Try some with me!" squealed Nothvai. Slarti gulped and nodded while forcing a smile. He used a nearby ladle and scooped a hunks of the room temperature fleshlike mixture onto two plates, handing one to his host. Nothvai took a piece directly in his hand an raised it towards Slarti in a cheers-like motion. Slarti grabbed a chunk from his plate and did the same. The both took a huge bite.
"Delectable," sighed Nothvai.
Slarti, however, found himself losing control. The mildly rotted flesh warmed to room temperature was doing something to his brain. He began screaming and mercilessly beating his host's stable master repeatedly. He screamed and flung fists for nearly 20 seconds before stumbling around a bit and regaining his senses.
"Marvelous! You must teach me the secrets of your cooking!" gushed Nothvai.
Slarti nodded as his perception seemed to settle again.
"And anytime you need flesh of a clade," continued Nothvai, "this chest is full of every kind you could imagine!"
Slarti nodded and tried to hold back a burp filled with stomach acid. He let forth a tiny belch and winced as the burn lit his esophagus like an outburst hitting a bandit. "Yeah... do you have any Thursar carcass? They usually kick my ass," he said with a cough punctuating the end of his sentence.
"Of course," said his host rummaging through several nearby chests. "Ahhh.. here we are. The carcass and head of Joebros!" laughed Nothvai.
"You know the name?!" sputtered Slarti.
"Of course I do! I keep all my carcasses catalogued with the head that belongs to them."
Slarti began to remember his first meeting with Nothvai. "Oh yeah... I remember now. Well, I'll take this carcass to the Brewery and try to whip something up that will be fitting of your refined tastes," said Slarti.
"Oh, I do look forward to it!" said Nothvai.
Slarti left the Mortuary atop his razorback, Patty, with another named Snot by their side. He was almost to the Brewery when fate struck and he was accosted by the bandits ScumKiller, superking, and Slashishurt. He immediately threw up his hands hoping to live and preserve the carcass of Joebros, but these lowlifes continued attacking him despite his show of surrender. The carcass was lost.